I’m running and my body doesn’t belong to me
I’m lifted, anxious, over an open space
there is white light and greenery
my lungs fill with black
stagnant and dry.
Somethings horrifies me.
Was it the last thing I saw?
Suddenly it’s dark and I feel pain.
My veins are drawing open.
My heart beats with every bat of my lash.
I’m rolled over and dumped into a thick, dark, wet space.
I don’t feel the thud.
This is what I see, flashing and flickering like a trick flame. In and out.
fast forward through a highly neurotic party scene.
rainbow lights and dark hallways.
dragged through a hole in the wall.
one of those M states.
dry hot desert.
a young guy.
Fashioned In Sleep
don’t call me a medicated person
I’m dedicated to being myself in pure doses
what am I
a mishap or a molly
those little starbursts in your back pocket
sticky like syrup
share with me all your dreams and desires
I can make them happen like wild fires
silly boys and lonely girls
I am the wish that breaks their routine
I service them all a piece of my heart
content is a new fad
they can’t get enough, can’t leave me
who’s got a place in my parade
a spotlight in my show
anyone who dances with their emotions know
you don’t need a dime to be in this masquerade
throw up your skirts
I’m only drinking with my eyes closed
it never rains here
throw down your bets
I’m only blushing with this fold
it never fears
justice in my world
because nothing moves
happiness in my world
because nothing soothes
we are just practicing calligraphy on
do what you want
it’s our masterpiece
a stroke in my painting
a dent in my metal work
a scrape in my knee
my palms are tougher
my body is rubber
never leave me
I can’t live without
never try me
I don’t feed on doubts
Do I Have a Name?
awaken in the snow
i hear her whispers, soft like muffled song
the cinders falling make noise like bells
I am a babe in the vast white
her intricate feathers swallow me up
i’m sleeping in my dream
my lashes lay painted on my cheeks
my arms cross fold over my bare chest
I’m floating down a river of ice
melted into it like wax
why am I smiling
this is the only place that exists
she’s my only friend
the snow fall turns into crimson on my skin
my nails are never dirty
her lips are always full, never thin
she kisses me like rain kisses the earth
what haunts me is nevermore
if I lost her i’d cave in and collapse
but fear isn’t what holds me back
her monolithic body is a tomb
I am growing inside
light is but a shadow
cradling me in the birch tree maze
tangling me in her lies
releasing me too easily
I always come back
a family is no more
a pendulum holds siblings
frozen in time
a stale contraction
divine is a fetus, carrying life
it floats somewhere
the white walls push against me, heavy
I am but this
you hear her quiet words
they sound like tribes
flickering like a flame in your ear
put it on me
all those sad cries
let me eat them up
catch us on fire
we scrape the flesh from the bones and re-create
i’m crawling on my wrists through dark tunnels
and i’m stuck in the end
you’re still searching for me, i’ve been gone for so long
I was never watching you
no one was
listen to my heart beat
it doesn’t really tok or tick
it’s a ripple in the water
my ambient pulse
tell me, am I even a memory?
you will never know
when I laugh at you, you realize your imagination is far more incredible than believed